Confession Of A SAHM

Monday was the very definition of a manic Monday.  It was a total sh*t storm, both literally and figuratively [pardon my French].  My toddler was practicing his “terrible two’s” a month early, whirling through the house like a tornado and whining the whole day.  I read this quote which perfectly sums up toddler life, “A toddler is an emotionally unstable, pint-sized dictator with the uncanny ability to know exactly how far to push you towards utter insanity before reverting to a lovable cuddle-monster.”  And all moms to toddlers said, "Amen!"  This was Dylan, except he wasn’t showing his “cuddle-monster” side!  To make matters worse, he was intent on waking and disturbing his little brother whenever possible.  With two miserable boys on my hands, I was one miserable mama.

When my husband came home from work, I breathed a sigh of relief as he entered the door.  I was dishevelled, frazzled and exhausted, but tried to put on a good front.  However; within minutes, my facade had disintegrated and I burst into tears.  In between sobs, I cried sentiments such as:

“You’re so lucky you get to go to work…”

“You're so lucky you can pee with the door shut!”

“You're so lucky you weren’t puked on multiple times!”

'You're so lucky you..."

I’ll admit it was not one of my finer moments.  My husband’s response floored me.   While he readily agrees that the change of pace of the adult world has its perks, he quietly said, “I actually find myself envious of you at times.  You have no idea how hard it is to leave your family for 8-10 hours a day.  Day after day.”

As much as the life of a stay-at-home mom can be chaotic, messy and mundane, I am blessed to have the opportunity to be home with my children.  There is a mom out there who for financial reasons, must return to work before she feels ready.  There is a single mom out there who is the sole provider, working two to three jobs tirelessly to put food on the table.  There is a mom out there who lugs her breastfeeding pump into her office's bathroom, faithfully and tediously pumping throughout the day in order to nourish her child.  Of course there are moms who choose and want to go back to work.  I salute them and give them my full support.  My point is that I recognize I am in a position that many mothers wistfully ache for.  Instead of being resentful, I ought o be grateful.  Raising my kids at home is an honour.  I love them- and like them too!

Once again I am reminded that perspective is everything.  Tomorrow I choose to get out of my mommy stretchy pants and swap them for some cute jeans and dare I say rock a red lip!  Tomorrow I choose to enjoy quality time with my boys who won’t always be so little.  Tomorrow I choose to be thankful and positive… and perhaps indulge in a cup [or two] of coffee!