Pivot

I recall a scene on Friends where Ross enlists Rachel and Chandler to haul his newly purchased large sofa up a tight NYC apartment stairwell. At first Ross scribbles out a quick sketch to show the others his proposed “strategy”. Once they begin, it’s clear the sketch cannot defy physics so instead he yells,“PIVOT” in hopes they can maneuver the couch in an impossibly cramped space.

The word “pivot” has replaying in my mind over and over as my husband has returned to work in-person at the office and my kids soon start pre-school/school. It’s surreal to think how quickly life has changed in such a short amount of time. What was '‘normal” has been completely flipped upside down as we’ve replaced it with the phrase “the new normal.” I was joking with my husband that I wish some of these “new normals” could be pleasant things. Think of how life changed when electricity was invented, air conditions came on the scene and memory foam mattresses were a thing. in those circumstances, the new normal equaled new and improved. Pandemic life and lockdown measures are things I have adapted too, but obviously wished weren’t necessary. I recently purchased lipgloss, and afterwards it dawned no one me will see it under my mask [insert someone playing tiny violin]. That’s absolutely not a big deal whatsoever, but I bet I am not the only one missing both the big and little ways life has changed since covid-19 hit the scene.

Jokes aside, I feel mixed emotions as we embark on a new chapter integrating back into society while the corona virus is still very much a threat [thankfully my geographical location has extremely low numbers].

This is my checklist for school next week:

• Backpacks ✔

• Lunch bag + Bento Boxes ✔

• Items labelled ✔

• Face masks + Laynards ✔

This is how I feel:

• Thankful to send them so school [homeschooling is not my preference after experiencing it, but hats off to all formal educators and homeschooling parents alike] ✔

• Relieved they can regain some sense of normalcy ✔

• Concerned about their health as they leave our bubble ✔

• Anxious about the unknown ✔

• Feeling mostly at peace with my family’s decision, yet still uneasy ✔

The word “pivot” has been reassuring to me in the sense I can adjust and adapt as needed. I am keeping an open mind. I have decided to enrol my children at school this September, however; I am not locked into that decision. If I need to pull them out or if lockdown measures return, that’s ok. We will take things as it comes. I’m a planner by nature, but as I learn to relinquish control, acknowledge I don’t need to know A-Z, and learn to pivot, there can be such peace amidst all of the unknowns and unpleasant new normals. Letting go requires trusting God. That leap of faith can be scary, but never fails. Letting go means surrendering, not because we lost, but because He already has won.

In this collective crisis, I’m reminded of the unwavering truth that subscribing to the chaos is a choice. I have made a conscious decision to cancel that membership. Anxiety can feel like my default and disposition, but it’s empowering to recognize I am equipped with God’s help to manually switch gears and navigate this season from a place of calm. It’s not always streamlined process for me, but God’s mercy and grace He is with me every step of the journey.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. [Hebrews 6:19]

Finally, with so many variables and moving parts, one thing that is constant is God. When I feel uncertain, uneasy or unnerved, this verse [above] in Hebrews is immensely comforting knowing that in Him we are firm and secure.