Jun 22

Jun 22 Why I’ve Ditched Dieting.. And Wish I Never Started

From the start, I should preface this post and note I am not a registered dietician. I have been working with one and am sharing my journey in hopes it sheds some light on the toxicity of diet culture. If I can spare one person from the dangers of dieting, this will be worth it.

The first reason I will not diet is because of my history with eating disorders. When I was a kid, I was very lanky and willowy. At the age of 11, my body seemingly metamorphized into a still petite, yet curvaceous D-cup overnight. This attracted unwanted attention from boys in my class who called me “torpedo tits.” I became incredibly self-conscious and felt fat due to my large bust. There were several factors at play, but it was at this tender age I began to struggle with bulimia and later orthorexia, which is defined as an obsession with health and wellness. Simply put, to stop purging, I became neurotic about nutrition and fitness. My eating disorder was and is ultimately about control, yet still centered very much around food. This is also why I won’t spiritually fast food, but will forego other things such as technology, because this practice is a slippery slope for me.

The second reason I won’t diet is because it often focuses on “rules” about what only or never to eat. I have a friend who constantly is dieting. This week it can be “only cabbage soup,” next week hard boiled eggs, carb cycling the next month…etc. I think there are some valid reasons to be restrictive such as if one has allergies or maybe is an Olympic-level athlete with a strict eating plan, however; for the vast majority of us, I think I a balanced and more relaxed approach may be more beneficial. Instead of thinking, “I can’t eat ice cream,” I now think, “I will make sure my meals are full of nutritious food and if I want ice cream, I can enjoy some in moderation.” I have made some healthier swaps in my typical day such as using all-natural peanut butter over Skippy or using tahini instead of store-bought dressings, but I aim for flexibility and to avoid being compensatory. Essentially, I am striving for common sense and relying on my intuition versus food rules. I enjoy indulgences, but I try to incorporate that into my everyday life as opposed to resist, resist, restrict and then… overeat. This is why I don’t have “cheat days” anymore as is it is very tempting to binge, but I feel great when I eat well whilst enjoying a treat guilt-free here or there.

The third reason I no longer diet is because it is a viscous cycle. I wish I truly understood this as I used to blame myself for a lack of willpower and results. There is so much science behind this, which I don’t have the knowledge to go in deeply, but there are incredible R.D’s online such as “Abbey’s Kitchen” and “Pick Up Limes.” The consequence of chronic dieting is it can sabotage your metabolism. For myself, not only did I have restrictive eating tendencies, but nine month long Hyperemesis Gravidarum for all three full-term pregnancies, plus a stressful life event which I unintentionally didn’t eat as much, partly due to medication that made all food taste terrible, has meant my body is constantly anticipating it’s next starvation season. My dietician has explained this is why dieting doesn’t work: my body will adapt and burn less as it deems it a famine, but if I feast, it will hold onto the calories anticipating a future need. In a nutshell, my body is working to maintain its “set point” or weight it wants to sit at, and the more you diet, the higher the setpoint generally will be. In the long-term dieting can work against our overall weight and health goals. Other terms that fall under this umbrella include “metabolic damage” or “metabolic disfunction.” The good news is by eating nutritiously throughout the day [small meals, more often work better for me], adequate sleep, proper hydration, managing stress and appropriate physical activity will gently coach our body into its ideal rhythm. There is no quick fix, but there is hope.

I realize if you are currently dieting or are considering dieting, my words may ring hollow. You may see dramatic “Before and After” photos and may even be experiencing some success in achieving your goals. I am simply encouraging anyone to consult professionals, bear in mind the science, and really address any underlying unhealthy motives when it comes to making a drastic change. I wish I could have avoided some of these diet culture pitfalls and regret not only the physical effects, but the mental energy wasted when I was consumed trying to fit into society’s beauty standards. I am not against weight loss and in fact, I hope my healthy habits will bring about some positive changes in that regard, but for the first time, I am not willing to adopt extreme habits for the sake of how I look or for some arbritary number on the scale. My health and my mind are too precious. Yours are too xx.