In Everything, Give Thanks

My favourite holiday is here. I absolutely love Thanksgiving. It takes place against the beautiful backdrop of autumn foliage, focuses on family, delicious food and gratitude.

Being that it is 2020 and we’re in the midst of the second wave of this pandemic, it differs from previous celebrations. While I appreciate that our government and leaders are guiding us through “unprecedented times,” the messaging lately has been confusing. On Tuesday, small gatherings were permitted. Wednesday appeared ambiguous. Thursday and Friday, officials and public health went into damage control and finally clarified their guidelines. Meanwhile tables were being prepared and pies baked.

Not only is there confusing messaging, but it also seems contradictory. It was acceptable for my children to interact with 20+ classmates, teachers and peers Friday, but not a few family members today! Then again, when picking up my daughter from pre-school, a grandmother picking up her grandchild mentioned that her daughter’s [the mother of Noelle’s classmate] two colleagues had tested positive and they had worked on the same factory line together. This local factory has many employees so the possibility of an outbreak is worrisome. Hearing of a tangible positive case, even with a very loose connection to my child makes things a little less abstract and me want to protect those around me.

On Wednesday after the kids were in bed, my husband asked me what my thoughts were regarding this holiday. I was taken off guard since I only knew of Tuesday’s headlines at the time. Earlier that same afternoon our school board sent an e-mail to parents outlining contingency plans should school return to a virtual or hybrid in-person/at-home format “just in case.” In that moment the feeling of uncertainty got to me and I quipped, “I don’t want to have a conversation about this. I don’t want to make a decision. YOU decide!” 🙈

A day or so later after seeing the unrelenting pleas of health and government officials, we felt utterly gutted and disappointed, but confident that we couldn’t justify making an exemption for ourselves. We would put country over family fellowship this Thanksgiving. I don’t at all share this to shame anyone who is celebrating differently. I deeply empathize that there is a very real mental health component and must also be a considering factor. Conviction absolutely needs to be coupled with compassion in this tense season.

I’ve wrestled with these uncomfortable feelings for a few days since my husband suggested we heed these updated recommendations. It’s dawned on me that I am carrying some unnecessary stress.

The first is being overly concerned what others are doing. Aside from the “anti-maskers” and covid deniers, I believe most people are truly well-intentioned and want to protect themselves and their loved ones. I may not be on the same page as everyone else, however; I readily recognize there isn’t one right way to do things and therefore I am making a point to mind my own d*mn business. Granted it’s not always easy as our collective actions do have an undeniable domino effect in how this plays out, but it’s also imperative to understand what’s within our personal control and what isn’t.

Secondly, a great source of my anxiety has come from the fear of disappointing others whether that’s family or friends. I am a people pleaser by nature and have spent time and therapy over the past couple years working through that. It dawned on me when my husband texted me from a golf course about committing to cancel, that in fact it’s OKAY to follow the rules without guilt. This year has brought tremendous disappointment, but surely as adults I hope we can all agree that following public health guidelines without taking it personally is a much healthier way to cope. And I hope that if we all celebrate carefully now that our tables won’t be missing any loved ones at Christmas. Fingers crossed! 🤞

There’s no denying that this Thanksgiving is a bit of a downer in many ways, but there is still so much to be thankful for. Still, I may cry and eat some pie with extra whip to console my feelings though lol! Anyways, I hope you and yours have a very Happy Thanksgiving! 🍂🍁🌾